Here’s the thing: love in the Hebrew sense is a /verb/, an action word. It is something you DO, not something you FEEL. What Jesus mostly spoke out against concerning the religious leaders of His day was that their deeds were cold, heartless, and selfish, and those evil deeds came from their evil hearts. Time and time and time again, the Father has said that His justice, His love, His mercy is all about helping those who are in need, NOT those who ‘deserve it’. That is His will, and if we are truly His, then we will ‘do the will of our Father who is in heaven’ and actively seek to BE patient, kind, gentle, charitable, self-controlled, etc., no matter how we may be feeling at the time.
Here is where the rubber hits the road: if you aren’t actively doing the kinds of things the Father does, you aren’t His. Period. There is no wiggle room. There is no justification. There are no excuses. You cannot love as He does if you do not know Him intimately, and you CANNOT know Him intimately if you habitually, willingly do what He hates. Period. Unless you are living as Jesus lived to the best of your present ability and consistently striving to become more like Him through His guidance, you can say ‘LORD, LORD’ all you want, and you won’t walk through Heaven’s Gates. Period. If you are okay with habitually missing the mark, you are doomed. Period. Those who are truly His HATE their sins, and are constantly crying out “Search my heart, O LORD; seek out the wicked ways within me”, begging Him to purify them. If you aren’t hungry for Him to work deeply within you, if you justify yourself by saying ‘everybody struggles’ when you aren’t struggling at all, if you give yourself a pass because you said a prayer one time and try to be a nice person, you are fooling yourself, and stand condemned already; that end is assured, and certain doom awaits you.
But God is merciful to those who will turn away from their ways, no matter where you are. You see, He sees you through His timeless eyes; what He is mostly paying attention to is who you WILL be, not who you were or are now. If you turn to Him and allow Him to work deeply in you to heal and restore you, He is faithful and just and will surely complete what He has started in you. You will come to know more and more peace, joy, love, etc. It is a sure part of becoming more and more like Him in your thought patterns. You will be able to handle more and more, and will even be able to be totally relaxed in situations that would normally stress you out.
You just need to ask and seek and keep knocking. He will answer you. Your life will change. That end is assured, and certain joy awaits you.